Today, I am lost in the modern world. Everyone has expensive mobile phones, computers, cars, holidays. Everything can be fixed in photoshop. People follow fashion as if it's an important thing, like there is some deeper meaning than the surface. People listen to the wrong music, like the wrong art, read the wrong newspapers, support the wrong political parties. I mean fuck ukip seriously.
Fashion is as deep as selling cloth, music is as deep as selling sound, newspapers sprout misleading ideas to make the owners richer preying on the publics stupidity, politics are a business.
Style is not real, it is a tax on people with a broken sense of self worth.
What happened to unadulterated music? What happened informed debate?
Am I Victorian? I certainly don't feel victorious. I feel part of a lazy population, I dream of what is outside.
I realise that the camera is like a diary too, to record all my moments of excitement and boredom. not just so I can remember it, but photography is part of the event itself.
I could take self portraits but I feel that would not be an accurate description of how I feel in each event. All the time I am looking outwards from myself. I look outwards as an escape from what is me. Growing up at home and outside I often did not feel valued for my person or my abilities. I think this feeling has continued somewhat in my adult life. I have struggled to find a job and to make strong friendships. In these times I previously found release in a toxic escape, now I turn to the window and the event of photography is my escape. In these moments photography isn't merely part of the event, it is the event itself.
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